Dear College,

I have recently become aware of your complete and bitter indifference to my work and my education. As a kid from a small town with an even smaller bank account and short last name, it is obvious that I have nothing to offer you. In 10 years I will not have enough money to donate to you and I will not be wanting or expecting any kind of alumni honor. All I want is a good old fashioned hard earned college education. That I can afford.

And why shouldn't I be able to afford it? Because my parents are divorced and my family doesn't have enough cash? Might I direct your attention to my GPA and transcripts. Might I remind you of the amount of hours I spent in your library. And might I call to attention to the number of students who are living off check after check from their papas fancy pens and who spend the majority of that money on cocaine and vodka to get through all your classes.

College, you set freshmen up so nicely and you pump them so full of false hope it's sickening. And why? So that you can prepare an impressive demographic in your incoming freshman class and get a good rating in the next issue of College Scene Magazine. Well I do not feel indebted to your school and I do not feel that I owe you any more of my hard earned and self earned money or brain power.

So peace out expensive and prestigious university. I'm over you.

Not so sincerely,

Claire M. Miller